I opened the calendar invite for a call with a prospective client. In the space where I asked to share anything that could help me prepare for the meeting, they simply wrote:
“New manager. Feeling unsure.”
As I read these words, Coach Josh knew I would show up curious, ask questions to understand why they felt unsure, and help them identify a path to build confidence. However, Leader Josh had a very different response. He simply wanted to say, “Good. You’re right where you need to be.”
If you are a new manager, this post may help you get centered as you prepare for an exciting new phase. If you are a seasoned leader, this post may help you reconnect with your own new manager days and better support others as they transition into management.
My Journey
I began my career as a software developer. I was going to be the best software developer I could be, handling all aspects of development. These days, that role has a name—a Full-Stack Developer. Back then, I called it a Renaissance Programmer.
The key to that stage of my journey is that I was dead-set against management. I was a programmer and would not be climbing the corporate ladder.
As my story played out, I was given small doses of responsibility, and before I knew it, I was encouraged to manage a team. For three years, I was a player-coach manager. While I led a team of developers, I still wrote a lot of code and was arguably still the best developer on the team.
When I think of this stage of my journey, the prospective client’s words resonate deeply: “New manager. Feeling unsure.” Writing software is logical and clean. When you are done, you test it, and if you don’t get the expected result, you go back and change the code and test again until it is right.
Management is messy. There are no right answers. And often, if you don’t like the outcome of a decision, it’s not as simple as going back, making a change, and trying again.
I spent three years debating whether I was more valuable to the organization as a developer or manager. Thankfully, I found both roles fulfilling. I wasn’t sure if I should leave behind the software development skills that had served me so well.
After three years, I moved to a different team where I was no longer an expert. I didn’t know many of the technologies this team worked with. I managed some brilliant developers, enabling me to get out of the details and embrace management and leadership fully.
The Reluctant Leader
I spoke to an exceptional leader this week who drew an unexpected parallel. She referenced the movie Gladiator and the fact that General Maximus was, at heart, a farmer. All he wanted to do was achieve peace and return to his farm. He was a reluctant leader, and that reluctance to lead contributed to his success. He was not leading for personal or political gain. He was serving his country at the order of his emperor—a leader he loved and respected.
If you are reluctant as you step into management, I encourage you to embrace this uncertainty as a gift. Yes, you are entering into new territory where you will strengthen a new set of talents and rely less on the skills that brought you to this point. That novelty is what keeps us engaged and growing. Be sure to bring a growth mindset and recognize that you have the talents within you—you just need to nurture them.
If you find yourself stepping into management for the first time without any uncertainty and fully confident in your ability to lead, this should give you pause. Being confident in your abilities is a great strength. Still, it’s essential to balance that confidence with the awareness that you’re stepping into a qualitatively different role than an individual contributor, and you will have much to learn.
If you are leading or mentoring someone entering management for the first time, remember what your experience was learning to manage and lead people. Consider sharing your story to help build your relationship and encourage them. It is easy to think people are natural-born leaders, and it is helpful to hear stories that dispel some of those myths.
One of my favorite examples along these lines is Ed Sheeran. He has an audio clip on his phone from his early days singing. Last year, he played it on a talk show – the one-minute clip is worth a listen. His point is that he was not naturally born with talent – it took a lot of practice and effort to get to where he is today.
Putting It Into Practice
Whether stepping into management for the first time or working with someone else who is moving into management, embrace the uncertainty:
- Recognize that managers are not born; they are made through continued investment in learning and growth.
- Employ a growth mindset.
- Adopt a reluctant leader mindset, recognizing this is about more than your personal or political gain.
- Seek mentoring, coaching, and support from more experienced leaders who can help you navigate the change.
Walkabout Corner
This past weekend, my mother and I traveled to Central Pennsylvania, first to where my father grew up and then to where she grew up. The new owner of the house my father grew up in has been lovingly restoring the home built in the late 1800s. He was kind enough to give us a tour, and I’m grateful the house is in such good hands.
My mother’s hometown has a population of 107. We drove slowly through the town as she shared who was on her paper route, where she used to play, and other childhood memories. It was a special weekend for both of us.
I have one more week of being mothered before venturing into new lands.
I am an executive coach and life coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love to help others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.
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