I have long been fascinated by lucid dreaming. I recently experienced it firsthand, and as I processed it, I found a surprising parallel to a strategy I often discuss with my clients.
In a lucid dream, you become aware that you are dreaming, and once you gain this awareness, you can control the dream. In this state, the only limits are your own imagination.
Like mountain biking, learning to dream lucidly was on my Want To Do List, but hadn’t made it high enough to get any attention. A podcast from last week rekindled my interest, and I began reading Dream Yoga by Andrew Holecek.
What drew me in was the connection between lucid dreaming, consciousness, and enlightenment (I don’t love that word, but I think it conveys what I want to convey). There are individuals who have reached a level of awareness, arguably an enlightened state, where they remain aware at all times. When they dream, they are fully aware throughout their dreams. Even in deep sleep, they remain fully aware. They never lose their awareness. I’ll admit, the thought of being aware during deep sleep sounds a bit terrifying, but the individuals who experience this are clearly in a blissful state, and not terrified.
With the book available from my library, I have begun to dabble.
My First Experience
The first day, I listened to the book right before bed to introduce the concept of lucid dreaming into my mind. To my delight, I had a limited success that first night. I found myself in that liminal state between sleep and waking, and I recognized that if I could return to sleep, I might be able to dream lucidly.
As I slipped back into sleep, I realized that I was, in fact, dreaming, and I was aware of it. However, when I attempted to fly, I had a very hard time getting off the ground. I was aware, but not all-powerful, and quickly, I woke up.
I was excited to have achieved awareness that I was dreaming, and frustrated that I was somehow still grounded. However, this was my first attempt.
For the next week, I did not have any additional lucid dreaming experiences, but I wasn’t trying very hard. I had been content to listen to the book when I had spare moments and see what would happen. I set an intention each night before bed, but I wasn’t ready to start putting any of the other techniques into practice.
My Second Experience
As I write this, I’ve just had my second lucid dreaming experience. Yesterday, I received a supplement that the book recommended, which can increase dreaming. The author recommended setting an alarm for a few hours before your normal wake-up time, taking the supplement, and then going back to sleep, as our peak-dream period typically occurs during the final few hours of sleep. My sleep is too important to me to disrupt it with an alarm, but I often wake up a few times during the night. So, when I woke naturally at 4 AM, I took the supplement.
To my delight, I once again found myself reaching that liminal state and recognized I could fall back to sleep with awareness. I was better prepared for what came next, and as I once again found myself dreaming lucidly, I reminded myself that I could do what I wished, and I took off from the ground effortlessly and flew.
Next, I did what any logical human would do.
I battled Superman.
There was nothing dramatic about it. It would not have made for good cinema. Suddenly, Superman was in the sky, and we flew at each other as fast as possible. We collided, and I emerged unharmed, as he fell to the earth, defeated.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Superman, and I don’t want to see him defeated. But my brain needed the ultimate test of my abilities, and I guess it decided that if I could beat Superman, then I’d have proved that I was all-powerful. As a devoted follower of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I’m sure defeating the poster child of the DC Cinematic Universe was also important to my subconscious. My DC-loving friend Harry would surely point out that my subconscious went to DC, not Marvel, to find the most powerful being in existence. But, I digress…
I then found myself looking to save people. I saw a train speeding along, with some men on the track, and I was worried they’d be hit by the train. I flew into push them out of the way. I managed to get them out of the way, but it was hard. I was flying, but I had forgotten to bring superhuman strength, and I found myself pushing them with my normal strength. It was not graceful.
In another experience, I looked up at the sky, started flying upward, and after several seconds, I glanced to the side and realized I was barely off the ground. My flying wasn’t working right again. I pushed through it, but I was somehow limited.
I did manage to draw in all the moisture from the clouds and then fly over the land, making it rain, which apparently this town desperately needed. I enjoyed being a sky god. And yet, as I did so, I started to wonder if I had upset the natural ecosystem.
And then I awoke.
My Insight
As I lay in bed contemplating my dream, I was struck by the limits I encountered in a reality where anything was possible. What was going on? And then it hit me.
Constraint-based thinking.
I wrote about this earlier this year, and it frequently comes up in coaching. I will work with a client who is building their strategic thinking skills. As they imagine what’s possible, they shoot their own ideas down before the idea gets a chance to flourish. They can’t see past the constraints imposed by the system.
- “That will never get approved.”
- “We don’t have the budget for that.”
- “They won’t let me lead that.”
In these moments, I encourage my clients to set aside all constraints. If you had all the money and all the resources and no constraints, what would you do? They stretch their thinking to imagine what’s possible, come up with some brilliant ideas, and then work backwards, figuring out how to overcome any perceived constraints that stand in the way.
In my first “proper” lucid dream, while literally anything was possible, I still fell prey to constraint-based thinking. I wasn’t strong enough to lift those men, even though a few moments ago I was strong enough to best Superman. It didn’t occur to me to simply team up with Superman, rather than best him. My mental model for solving a drought was still constrained by the workings of our ecosystem, even though with a snap of my fingers, I could have created a perfect ecosystem.*
In our waking life, we overcome constraint-based thinking with practice. We activate our Default Mode Network, put our Wizards to work, and imagine what’s possible, thinking big. Each time we do this, we strengthen our strategic thinking muscles.
I see now the same is true in the land of dreams. With practice, I expect to exercise my creative thinking muscles to experience fantastical stories, untethered by the rules of waking life. It will take practice, but next time I’ll be a little more prepared for the opportunity. What’s possible when the entire Marvel and DC Universes are at my back?
Putting It Into Practice
Place constraint-based thinking into your awareness. When you find yourself thinking or saying that something won’t work, pause and reflect. Instead of finding a way to say “No,” find a way to say “Yes.”
* Yes, this is a dig at Thanos, from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who solved the problems of the universe by snapping away half of the beings in the cosmos, so there were enough resources for everyone. Critics point out that he could have instead chosen to double the resources, without killing anyone. I guess even Thanos suffers from constraint-based thinking.
I am an executive coach and life coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love to help others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
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