A few weeks ago, we were honoured to have the renowned spiritual teacher Adyashanti in one of our meditation teacher training classes. Since the program started, I’ve been steeping in his wisdom, and I regret missing the opportunity to study with him, as he has retired from spiritual teaching.
Our instructor asked Adya, “What is the greatest misunderstanding you’d like to correct from your teachings?” His answer centered around the phrase “Allow everything to be as it is.” It was a misunderstanding I struggled with for much of my life.
Misunderstanding
In my college years, I was intrigued by Buddhism. My influences included my father’s love of Robert Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and Professor Cobb, my Intro to Philosophy professor who was also a practicing Zen Buddhist.
I remember Professor Cobb describing an awakened state to the class in one of our lectures. I don’t remember how he described it, but I remember distinctly how I thought I had grasped it. I raised my hand and said, “Is it like when you’re driving down the highway, and ten minutes go by, and you realize you don’t remember the last ten minutes?”
“No,” he said, “It’s nothing like that at all.”
I laugh now as I look back. I had the same misunderstanding Adya was speaking to.
That same misunderstanding plagued me as I tried to embrace Buddhism. A core teaching that resonated with me in principle was the Four Noble Truths. Life is characterized by suffering. Suffering arises from our attachment to things. Suffering can cease when we release those attachments. And there is a path leading to that release. When our desires don’t match reality, we suffer. Follow the path, relinquish your attachments, and you can ultimately attain enlightenment.
When I contemplated this in my college years, I imagined myself with no attachments. It always left me with the image of me with no desires, doing nothing. I’d have to be a hermit living on my own. I couldn’t reconcile it, and Buddhism never really took root, although the seed was planted. So what does it mean, then, to allow everything to be as it is?
A Clue
I think my first coach was on to the secret, and he pointed me in the right direction, but I still didn’t grasp it.
My coach told me to go out into nature, some place in the woods without people, and sit there for thirty minutes. Just be with nature. This was under the guise of building my emotional intelligence. I dutifully complied, finding a remote trail in a nearby park, wandering back a ways, and sitting in the forest, just being with nature. I enjoyed the experience, but I missed the point. He hadn’t given me enough context. I went out into nature and allowed everything to be as it is, but in doing so, I primarily checked out. Therein lies the rub.
Checking Out
Most of us grow up in a culture that is designed to shape us into Doers. We learn how to achieve. To be efficient and productive. To set ambitious goals, attain them, and then stretch higher. As leaders, we continue to embody this way of life, while also mentoring and challenging our teams to do the same. Arthur C. Brooks calls this Striver’s Syndrome in his book, From Strength to Strength. It is aptly named. I know it well. I suspect you do too.
My coach wanted me to spend time in nature as an antidote to Striver’s Syndrome. Without proper context, however, the time in nature was simply a mental break. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course. We have vacation time and encourage employees to take it because we know everyone needs a break to rest and recharge.
Many take up meditation and mindfulness practices for this very reason. Not as a means to attain spiritual growth or enlightenment, but simply as a mechanism to rest their nervous system, quiet the striver, and return to center. When I first began meditating regularly, that was my goal as well. In my efforts to quiet the mind, I was deliberately attempting to “check out” from the monkey mind of Striver’s Syndrome. It served its purpose, helping me lower my stress and be more at ease, but eventually I recognized there was something more.
The Clarification
Adya clarified what he intends with the phrase, “Allow everything to be as it is.” It’s not an invitation to withdraw from the world and check out. You’re not being asked to clear your mind in a way that you remember nothing, as sometimes occurred on my highway drives. If anything, it’s an instruction to do quite the opposite.
As Strivers, we want to turn a statement like that into a goal. Don’t think of it as a goal. Think of it as a starting point. We begin by allowing everything to be as it is, being fully present. Over time, that practice evolves naturally. As we become more present in the moment, we begin to embody the Taoist concept of wu wei. It is often translated as effortless action and is akin to what we call flow state. We are still in action, but by allowing everything to be as it is, that action becomes effortless.
When my coach sent me into nature, here is the context I’d have given. Go out into nature, and be fully present with nature. Let go of all doing and be fully present as being. Experience nature with all your senses, marveling in it, connecting to it, being present with it. Don’t try to capture, identify, or label it. Just be with it.
If that feels difficult, notice what arises that is preventing you from allowing everything to be as it is, and examine it. As I sat in meditation one morning this week, my Striver wanted to draft an email. As I became aware of the thoughts, I noticed them and allowed them to be. By noticing them, it became easier not to indulge them. The email thoughts came and went, and I returned to the present moment.
Putting It Into Practice
I invite you to spend at least thirty minutes in nature, allowing everything to be as it is. Find a spot with few people to distract you. Be fully present. Take in the sights, the sounds, and the smells. Let your thinking mind take a break from the action. This is not an exercise in doing, it’s an exercise in being.
Your Striver will likely resist this exercise. Here are signs to watch for:
- The Exercise Trap – you set a distance, time, or pace goal. Leave your fitness tracker behind.
- The Photographer Trap – you bring your phone and feel compelled to capture photos or videos.
- The Writer Trap – you bring a journal or phone to journal your experiences in real-time.
- The Connected Trap – you allow others to interrupt you, either by bringing your phone or picking a location with too many other people.
- The Multitasker Trap – you combine this activity with any other, such as listening to an audiobook or podcast.
Your phone is the biggest distraction. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving it behind, put it in a focus mode that blocks all but true emergency notifications, and don’t touch it.
Trust the practice.
Tales of Wanderment
This week, I’ve found myself in flow. Calm, grounded, and centered. I took advantage of our holiday weekend to practice what I mentioned above – lots of time being present in nature.
I also realized how easy it is to pivot my plans on a dime. I thought I’d spend the summer in the Pacific Northwest, but now I’m not so sure. I’ll keep you posted.
I am an executive coach and consciousness coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love helping others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.