I wrote about adult development theory a few years ago. At the time, I still had a scientific bias. I looked at a model and felt it had to be justified with rigorous evidence for people to buy into it. The model made sense to me. It deeply resonated. But would readers find it valuable without sufficient scientific evidence to support it?

Today, I revisit the topic because I’ve seen its relevance in my own life and in others. I’ve made peace with the fact that this model’s usefulness doesn’t depend on scientific consensus. The model is clearly useful, and that’s what matters to me. It points to some powerful opportunities for growth.

Stages of Development

There are many models for framing the stages of human development. I’ve examined several with great interest. The one I keep coming back to is Robert Kegan’s stages of development:

1. Impulsive Mind (Early childhood). Characterized by a lack of self-awareness and control.
2. Instrumental Mind (Adolescence, 6% of adults). Greater awareness and control. Focused on personal goals and objectives.
3. Socialized Mind (58% of adults). Concerned with fitting in and being accepted by others.
4. Self-Authoring Mind (35% of adults). Developing unique values and beliefs.
5. Self-Transforming Mind (1% of adults). Ability to integrate diverse perspectives and adapt to complex situations.

It’s worth noting that the research behind these percentages is largely based on adults with college degrees, so there is some inherent bias in those numbers. But it does give us a general sense of how the population is distributed across the various stages. Roughly two-thirds of adults primarily operate within (or before) the Socialized Mind stage, so I pay close attention to that stage and the Self-Authoring Mind. It’s where most of us have the greatest opportunity for growth.

These stages are not absolute. On any given day, we may exhibit behaviors that align with each of the five stages. Our “stage” is the one that reflects our center of gravity. The stage that most frequently aligns with our behaviors. This also means that movement from one stage to another is a gradual process. Over time, we start to demonstrate more of the behaviors of the higher stage and less of the lower stage, and eventually that shift is enough that our center of gravity shifts to the next stage.

For all the overachievers out there, no, we don’t jump over any stages. We naturally progress through each stage over time.

So let’s dig into these two key stages. As you learn about them, I encourage you to think about areas of your life that reflect each stage, rather than trying to neatly fit yourself into one stage or the other. Every time I uncover a Socialized Mind moment, it presents an opportunity for growth, even if my center of gravity is Self-Authoring Mind.

The Socialized Mind

At the Socialized Mind stage, your sense of self is constructed from the outside in. Your beliefs, values, and even your identity are largely authored by the groups, relationships, and institutions you belong to — family, culture, organization, tribe. Fitting in isn’t just a preference; it’s existential. To be rejected by the group is, at some level, to lose yourself. This makes for deeply loyal, collaborative people — and ones who may find it genuinely difficult to hold a position that puts them at odds with those they depend on for their sense of self.

If you’re like me, you read that and think “That’s not me.” In fact, when I wrote about this back in 2023, I self-assessed as Self-Authoring Mind. Since that time, I’ve had 2.5 years of life experience. I can look back on that time and see countless examples of my actions being driven by how others would perceive me. And perhaps most importantly, I can see so many cases where I’ve grown and shifted since then. Wherever I fall on the map today, I know I’m far more likely to consult my inner compass for guidance and less likely to look to the approval of others.

Reflect on these prompts to see where in your life you find yourself operating from a Socialized Mind space:

• Where do I find myself shifting or silencing myself to preserve a relationship or my standing in a group?
• Whose disapproval am I most afraid of — and what does that tell me about where I’m still looking outward for my sense of worth?
• What do I actually believe — and how much of that did I consciously choose versus simply inherit?
• Where in my work or life am I following the script without ever having read it?

One of the most powerful techniques for me has been paying attention to my intuition. When there is tension between my internal values and the external situation, the message comes through loud and clear. Sometimes it’s embodied. I may feel tightness in my chest, my pulse may quicken, my cheeks may flush, or my stomach may tie into a knot. Other times it’s just a felt sense. There’s an intuitive hit that something is out of alignment. I crave these moments. Each insight is a gift of awareness. When I pause to uncover the source of the tension, I have the opportunity to course-correct and make the choice that feels most authentic and internally aligned.

The Self-Authoring Mind

At the Self-Authoring Mind stage, something fundamental shifts: you stop being written by the world and start writing yourself. Rather than deriving your identity from the groups and relationships around you, you develop an internal compass — your own values, standards, and convictions — that you can hold against external pressure. You can now disappoint people in the service of something you believe in.

This doesn’t mean you stop listening or caring what others think. It means you’ve developed enough of an internal “author” that outside opinions become data rather than verdicts.

With this stage, I know it when I see it. I can think of several leaders I’ve worked with over the years who stood out because they clearly knew what they stood for and what they valued, and that guided their actions. The most powerful examples were when I watched leaders leave a company that they dearly loved because of actions they could not support. That kind of bravery is rare, and it’s inspirational.

You may think this is your center of gravity today. For a third of us, it probably is. Even if that’s the case, I encourage you to focus your attention on those Socialized Mind moments. They will continue to shine a bright light on opportunities for further growth.

If you feel deeply anchored in this stage, the next opportunity for growth is loosening your grip on your own framework, becoming as curious about the limits of your perspective as you once were about building it. In the Self-Authoring stage, we can become too attached to our internal perspective.

Consider these prompts:

• Where do my strongly held values or principles actually limit my ability to see a situation clearly?
• When was the last time I genuinely changed my mind about something core — and what made that possible?
• Where am I so committed to my own framework that I’ve stopped being curious about competing ones?
• Whose perspective challenges mine most — and how much time do I actually spend inside their worldview rather than defending against it?
• Where might my identity as a leader, a professional, or an expert be a constraint rather than an asset?

The Self-Transforming Mind

I won’t spend much time here. Most of us will only catch glimpses of this stage, and that’s okay. But it deserves a mention.

At the Self-Transforming Mind stage, the internal compass that was so hard-won in Self-Authoring becomes an object of curiosity rather than a source of certainty. People here don’t just have a perspective — they can hold their own perspective lightly, alongside competing ones, without needing to resolve the tension. They’re comfortable not knowing. They find complexity interesting rather than threatening.

Putting It Into Practice

Don’t approach Kegan’s model with a striver mindset, trying to reach the highest stage. Use it to understand where you are, and to grow from there. Here are a few ways to put this into practice:

• Find your center of gravity. Rather than trying to place yourself in a single stage, notice which stage shows up most frequently in your behavior. Pay particular attention to moments of tension or discomfort — they’re often the most revealing.
• Make friends with your Socialized Mind moments. Even if Self-Authoring is your center of gravity, the Socialized Mind still shows up. When you catch yourself editing, shrinking, or seeking approval, treat it as data to feed your awareness.
• Use the prompts. Choose the reflection prompt above that creates the most discomfort and sit with it. That discomfort is pointing somewhere useful.
• Trust your body. Tension in the chest, a knot in the stomach, a flush in the cheeks — your body often registers misalignment before your mind catches up. Learn to read those signals.
• Be patient with the process. Stage development is gradual, nonlinear, and deeply personal. You can’t force it, but you can create the conditions to nurture your growth.

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I am an executive coach and consciousness coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love helping others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.

If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.

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