I love a good story – don’t we all? Some of my most memorable leaders were incredible storytellers. As a coach, I often draw upon stories from my prior experience when they are relevant to the topic at hand. I’ve told many of my favorites here in this blog.
Last week, as I worked with a client, a brand new story emerged. This was a fresh story. I have told the story to friends at times, but never in my coaching. As my client and I explored her challenge, I made a new connection and realized how it can serve us in a leadership context. Good storytelling requires practice, so I want to share this story with you today.
The Coaching Topic
One of my client’s superpowers is her bias for action. She is high-energy, bringing enthusiasm to her team and helping people push forward with pace. Throughout my leadership career, I have placed a great deal of value on leaders like this. They help teams get unstuck, find innovative solutions, and make sure we act with a sense of urgency.
My client found herself working with a team that did not share her bias for action. She was searching for ways to connect with the team and help them move more quickly, but her natural pace was so much faster that they were like oil and water.
As we discussed strategies, a story emerged in my mind—the story of Doug.
The Story of Doug
When I first started running, my company had an informal group of lunchtime runners. They were a great group of friends who helped me transform from a beginner to a casual runner to an elite athlete. With apologies to many members I’m leaving out, I think fondly of John Marsh, Scott Kuehn, Michele Howard, and the legendary Douglas Haines.
The thing about running is that, at any moment in time, with the exception of one person on the planet, there is always someone faster. That can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your outlook. In our running community, the someone faster was Doug. Some of us flirted with qualifying for Boston. Michele pulled it off. But Doug could realistically set his sights on making the Olympic Trials. He’s humble, and he’s very, very fast.
There were times when I found myself running with no one but Doug. If he wanted to, he could have left me in the dust. Alternatively, he could have insisted I lead and he would follow (which, arguably, would have been wise, given I was his boss’s boss’s boss). Instead, we would run side by side, and when the run was over, I was inevitably amazed at the pace we had run.
I’m not alone in this experience. My running colleagues also experienced this phenomenon. And eventually, we figured out what was going on.
We were not truly running side-by-side. Upon closer examination, you’d see that Doug was just slightly ahead of me. It was subtle, maybe six inches. But he was ahead, and unbeknownst to me, Doug was setting the pace. I felt like we were running at a mutually agreed-upon pace, but I eventually realized that, in fact, Doug was setting the pace.
He did not set the pace so fast that I noticed what he was doing. But he did set the pace fast enough to push me more than I’d otherwise have pushed myself.
Years later, I’ll confess to a great deal of satisfaction when Scott and I went for a run, and at the end of the run, he called me out for “Douging” him.
The Coaching Lesson
As I shared this story with my client, the connection was obvious. Her speed is a superpower. The team around her also wants to move faster. But she had been running her natural pace and leaving her team in the dust. She had been operating at Doug speed. This was not empowering her team – it was alienating them.
While it can be frustrating to slow down, she recognized the tremendous potential satisfaction if she could slow down enough to run alongside her team. Then, with a pace that felt more comfortable, she could pull six inches ahead. Not so fast to leave the team behind, but leading with enough pace to help pull everyone forward.
When you’re racing, the person in the lead ends up doing extra work. Everyone behind them can draft off them, letting the leader take the wind resistance full force. She may have to push harder than the rest, but in doing so, the entire team can run faster. And when they reach the finish line, everyone will be amazed at how much faster they ran.
Doug’s Gift
On November 21, 2010, I ran my second marathon. I had not yet seriously set my sights on Boston, but I was looking to improve significantly on the 3:59 time I had achieved in my first marathon earlier that year. I chose to run the Philadelphia Marathon, favoring its drivable distance from home and the flat course.
I had a great first half of the race. According to my journal, at ten miles in, I was three minutes ahead of my goal pace. However, as the miles continued, I began to lose my energy, and by mile 17, I was fading fast. The wheels were coming off.
Towards the end of mile 18, there was Doug on the sidelines, cheering me on. This gave me a quick boost of adrenaline, but I knew it would not last.
Only Doug didn’t remain on the sidelines. He popped onto the course and began to pace me. For the next seven miles, Doug faithfully stayed six inches ahead of me, and as I struggled, he repeated his mantra – “Just stay on my shoulder.” I suffered through those seven miles. I hated Doug for pushing me when I just wanted to throw in the towel. And I loved him.
I ran 3:29:43 that day, shaving 30 minutes off my previous marathon. I would have been at least five minutes slower without Doug setting the pace.
Putting It Into Practice
Consider the times that your leadership style feels significantly out of alignment with your team. How can you adjust your style to be more attuned, setting a pace that’s beyond what they think they are capable of, but still within their reach? How can you “Doug” your team?
I am an executive coach and life coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love to help others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.
Want to comment? Join the conversation on LinkedIn.