It’s been an emotional week for me. I have lived in Virginia for five decades. I’m ready for a change, and I don’t know where I want to put down roots next. So I’ve decided to pull them up and go on a Walkabout. I am officially nomadic. There’s a lot to unpack with that decision. I’ll share a few observations today, and I’m sure more will come in future weeks.
Where Are You Based?
I’ve spent a good bit of time on the road attending higher education conferences over the past six weeks. As I met new people, I was acutely aware of how often we break the ice by asking “Where are you based?” This question shifted my perspective. I began to realize how much identity I attached to being based in Northern Virginia. How the choice of “Northern” Virginia was deliberate, to clearly delineate the northern part of Virginia from the rest of the state. How I resisted the urge to generalize and say “Washington, DC” when talking to someone international who may not know US geography.
I began to more deeply appreciate the biases (sometimes conscious and sometimes unconscious) that arose when someone else told me where they were based. I’m becoming increasingly aware of the diversity surrounding us, and hopefully, I will unwind some of those snap judgments that can arise tied to a particular location.
My location will change every 2-4 weeks for the foreseeable future. I’ve enjoyed brainstorming possible responses to this question. Some of my favorites include:
- “Lots of different places.” – A nod to Highlander, one of my all-time favorites
- “Parts Unknown.” – LinkedIn limits me to a city or a metropolitan area, or else I must leave the location blank. Leaving it blank makes me think of professional wrestlers who would be announced entering the ring as “Hailing from parts unknown.”
- “I’m based in the present moment.” – Whether this actually leaves my mouth, it’s definitely running through my head. I want to be based in the now. Or, to quote Buckaroo Banzai, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
How would you suggest I answer the question? I’d love your thoughts in the comments.
A Hollywood Movie Script
As I shared my plans to go on Walkabout, one friend noted that it sounded like the kind of thing you do to create a Hollywood movie script for your life. It is easy to romanticize the idea.
I’m brought back to The Incredible Hulk television series from the early 80s. Every episode seemed to end with David Banner hitchhiking to a new town, wandering about the country. Another favorite is David Carradine in Kung Fu from the 70s.
My first reaction to this was to downplay the whole thing. Going nomadic was never on my bucket list. It’s a massive leap out of my comfort zone. It just feels like the right thing to do in this moment. As a coach, I don’t need a fixed location so long as the time zone suits my clients and I have a solid internet connection. I am simply listening to the Universe and following where it nudges me. If it seems Hollywood-script-worthy, so be it. That isn’t my inspiration for doing so.
My second reaction was a little bit different. Whether Hollywood is interested or not, I want to lead a life where my script aligns with my hopes and dreams. This idea feels more than a little bit crazy. I can think of lots of things that could go wrong. But I won’t let those potential excuses stand in the way of writing this script.
Take a moment to write the next act in your movie script. What happens next if you untether your thinking and push yourself out of your comfort zone? Is there something you plan to do in your retirement that you would rather be doing today?
When I think of my friends and clients, I can think of countless examples I consider worthy of a Hollywood movie script. While I won’t share examples to maintain confidentiality, I can say that time after time, these “crazy” actions have created moments of joy, awe, and wonder. No one regrets the decision.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver
Minimizing
You may be wondering about the mechanics of my Walkabout. I’m going by car, limiting myself to what can fit in my Subaru Forester. This has proven both daunting and liberating.
I remember moving into a larger house twelve years ago. I was grateful for the space we had. It allowed us to accumulate so much stuff. If we weren’t using something, it went to the storage room. Somewhere along the way, my perspective shifted. Having all of this stuff became a burden more than a blessing.
Knowing I was limited to what could fit in my car brought a cathartic perspective to the purging process. I probably donated 90% of my stuff. Working through everything, I realized how many things I owned and never used. I haven’t worn this shirt in three years. Why do I think I still need it?
I am storing a few boxes of stuff, but it’s limited to a 4’x4’x2’ space. Everything else I own is in my car. It is an incredibly freeing feeling. I expect to retain this minimalist way of being when I put down roots again.
There is one exception. Books. While parting with clothes was easy, parting with books was sometimes soul-crushing. Yes, I can get digital editions, but they don’t have the same feel as a physical book. When someone asks what Brene Brown says about shame in Atlas of the Heart, I love pulling it off my shelf, thumbing through the pages, and reading it in real-time.
Two boxes of books are coming on the road with me, and books probably comprise half of what I have in storage.
My father is working through his purging process, and he, too, has the most challenging time with his books. I made it easy on him. I told him to please keep them all. When the time comes, I’ll happily take every last one, even if I have to put them into storage for a while.
“The function of a library is to store those books that we have not yet read. A library is like a medicine chest. It must contain at least a few books that may be useful at some future date, and which we cannot as yet identify as such.” – How to Justify a Private Library, Umberto Eco
What stuff can you part with to simplify your life?
What belongs in your medicine chest, to be used at some future date?
Putting It Into Practice
I apologize if today’s post has wandered a bit – I am on Walkabout, after all. Here are some reflection points for you to consider:
- What conscious and unconscious biases arise when you consider where someone is based?
- What do you want to write into the next act of the movie script of your life?
- What can you minimize? What do you treasure even if it remains unused?
If you went on a Walkabout, what stops would be on your list? Let me know in the comments.
I am an executive coach and life coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love to help others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.
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