It’s been a fascinating week, teaching another life lesson I’d love to go back in time and impress upon my earlier self. It’s a lesson I think we all intuitively know in our hearts, but refuse to accept with our minds. Let me tell you a story…
My Week
As I watched the Super Bowl with my Seahawks-loving neighbor, I noticed the early signs of a cold. I had the familiar increase in throat congestion that typically foreshadowed a miserable week ahead. One perk of living in the western half of the US is that the Super Bowl ends at a reasonable hour. I got to bed early and pushed my alarm back in case I needed more sleep.
I slept for ten hours.
My Monday progressed uneventfully. I was a bit tired and had very minor cold symptoms, but it seemed my body was 80% successful at fending off the cold.* Outside of my calls, I took it easy, and I went to bed early again. That night, I dreamt I was in a psychic battle with a demon. The demon hit me with a ray that let it enter my mind and probe around, but I realized his defenses would have to be down to pull this off, so I went into his mind and probed back. He didn’t like this, and he fled.
I slept another ten hours.
Tuesday progressed similarly to Monday. A normal day of calls, pacing myself, and going to bed early. I dreamt I was in an after-school program, and the people who ran the program made me a nice meal. As I ate it, they said, “Now if you just stop resisting and do what you’re told, we’ll make a nice meal like this for you every day.” I refused and told them that I would not stop resisting until they treated me with dignity and respect and stopped acting without integrity.
And I slept another ten hours.
Wednesday, more of the same. I dreamt I was in a Star Wars-style blaster battle with an enemy. I slept another ten hours.
At first, I thought that series of dreams was a message from the Universe telling me to step up my resistance to the injustices I see in the world. And perhaps they were. But by the third night, it seemed that my dream landscape was simply mirroring my body’s efforts to fight off the infection. I resisted in my dreams while my body resisted in physical form.
Thursday night, I had no dream of resistance, and I only slept eight hours. Two clear signs that I was emerging relatively unscathed from whatever virus had infiltrated my system.
How It Used to Play Out
The scientist in me is called to examine this experience and compare it to historical illnesses. So often, I was told to get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids, and take it easy. I believed this advice as well. And yet, my cultural conditioning to “power through” and rise above the illness won out time after time.
Rather than sleeping ten hours a night, I continued working ten hours a day.
Do you do this?
In hindsight, I can see that my efforts to fight through the illness and still get it all done backfired. The symptoms were worse. The illness lasted longer. It often triggered a secondary infection. And when I was working, I was horribly ineffective.
When I contrast it with this week, I’m amazed. Everything that really needed to get done still got done and got done well. But if I hadn’t consciously taken my foot off the gas, this illness would have played out like all the previous ones.
If you’re like me, it’s easy to employ all-or-nothing thinking in this situation. Either I’m sick, or I’m not. Sometimes company leave policies foster this mindset. I remember the ongoing debates about whether employees should be required to take a full day of sick leave or whether it was acceptable to take a partial day.
Being self-employed, it was much easier to choose to work at 60% for the week, and give my body all the time it needed to rest.
If I could share this wisdom with my past self, I’d encourage my past self to cancel the first two hours of the day. Push back the alarm and let your body sleep as much as it wants. Also commit to fully shutting down at 5 PM, and giving your body, mind, and spirit the evening off, to rest and get to bed early.
Putting It Into Practice
If you notice the tell-tale signs of a stressor on your system, whether an illness or some other form of stress, consider reducing your commitments from 100% to 60%. Ease your foot off the gas enough so your system can respond to the stressor.
Watch for signs of all-or-nothing thinking. If you don’t feel like you can afford to take a sick day, deprioritize whatever you need to. If you don’t, you’ll likely find yourself having no choice but to take a sick day when your symptoms get worse. Hopefully, you can embrace this learning earlier than I did!
Tales of Wanderment
The Universe has spoken, quite clearly. This Summer, I will return to nomadic life. It started simply enough. I signed up for a meditation retreat in California at the beginning of June. California would have been the next step on my nomadic journey if Santa Fe hadn’t lured me in. As I began thinking about logistics, I realized I’d want to spend at least a month in California. And then I realized I wanted to continue to the Pacific Northwest.
And so, to my friends in the upper-left corner of the US and the lower-left corner of Canada, I’m coming your way. If you’d like to see me, please let me know. And if you have the space and would like to host me, even better.
When it comes time to settle down again, Santa Fe is still my top choice – I love it here. But I’m opening up to awe and wonder wherever I find it. I’ve decided to let the Universe take the wheel. I’m convinced it’s a much better driver than I am.
I just wish it didn’t drive so fast.
* Full disclosure – my body and energy may have stayed at 80%, but several mental mistakes suggest my brain was only at 60%.
I am an executive coach and life coach with software executive roots in higher education and EdTech. I coach because I love helping others accelerate their growth as leaders and humans. I frequently write about #management, #leadership, #coaching, #neuroscience, and #arete.
If you would like to learn more, schedule time with me.